How to Have Fun on Valentines Day With Youre Man When Ill
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The words "hot and bothered" may spark images of twisted sheets and breathlessly reaching out to the one you love for most people. But if you have a chronic illness, "hot" likely refers to a thyroid condition, night sweats, or a heating pad on high. "Bothered" is everything else that happens in bed. Like achy joints that pop when you roll over, a cat that insists on sleeping on your leg, or a spouse who snores through thunder and lightening. Romance may be hard to find in your home!
Nearly 1 in 2 people live with a chronic illness in the U.S. which means that a lot of marriages are disrupted by this uninvited third party of illness, often including mental illness as well. Seventy-five percent of marriages end in divorce. But romantic ideas don't have to be used just on Valentine's Day.
So, how can you add back some of that spark? I've got some romantic ideas that will tell your hubby "I love you" even when you are in chronic pain.
You have to give it your best effort and avoid excuses. "I'm so tired and had such a hard day. I feel terrible." I've said them all so I understand. Unfortunately the circumstances won't likely change, so you have to change your attitude in order to have the benefit of getting to the joy of romance. Let yourself relax and push past the pain and see if you can forget a good chunk of it. Distraction can be a wonderful thing.
Make romance a priority in your house! Rather than cleaning your house all day and mopping those floors, take a nap so that you have some quality time with your spouse that night. Make sure he feels valued and important and not just "one more thing to take care of."
Show some enthusiasm for getting to spend a romantic evening with your loved one. Even if it's just a nice dinner out, don't say, "I'm feeling terrible, but I really wanted to do this for you." (Hint: that won't turn him or her on!) Flirt a little bit. Talk about some fun times you've had or dreams you'd still like to pursue. Give yourself the gift of not talking about your illness the entire night.
Even if you don't have the gift of writing poetry, do something that tells your spouse how much you appreciate him. Cover a page with sentences of things you appreciate and love using different colored markers. Make up a mini-photo albumn.
Surely your spouse does some things for you without complain. Does he bring home your favorite ice cream? Throw in a load of laundry? Never expect you to iron or serve a five course meal? Write down all of the things you notice he does that you don't usually thank him for and give it to him as a special appreciation note.
Women, get out of the grandma section of underwear and buy something red, black or anything that doesn't have waist bands wider than an inch. Stop being so self-conscious.
Learn to text message with your phone and send him a messge that says something out of character for you. Be outrageously romantic, just make sure you send it to the right person in your phone book!
Make up coupons for something he would like but wouldn't typically splurge on for himself. For example, "Good for 5 guilt-free hours of going fishing with the guys." Don't make him feel guilty whenever he wants to do something you can participate in (like going for a bike ride or on a roller coaster.)
Perfect marriages don't exist. But they can be one of the most amazing experiences in your life when both people are involved in keeping it alive. In fact, the existence of a chronic illness in a marriage can make your relationship even stronger. Romance comes in many forms. I know I loved my husband more than ever the evening I literally couldn't move when I had a rheumatoid arthritis flare and he slept on the floor beside the couch to comfort me every time I moved or screamed out in pain.
Love is complicated and can come in many forms. One of the books I've bought all the couples in my life is "Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires, the Respect He Desperately Needs" by Emerson Eggerichs. It talks a lot about "love languages." For example, men feel loved when they feel respected, while women want to feel loved with emotions and communication. A lot of times we are giving our spouse what we desire rather than the "love language" they most need. Being aware of all of the small ways we can show each other love and respect will add up to romance the whole year through.
Article Source: Articlelogy.com
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