Review of Grief Recovery Stages
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The stages of Grief Recovery are not the same as Kubler-Ross' Stages of Death and Dying. After working with terminally ill individuals for several years she came up with 1) denial, 2) anger, 3) bargaining, 4) depression and 5) acceptance as typical reactions to the diagnosis. These have nothing to do with the grief recovery process even though they are often confused as such. In this article I aim to clearify what the grief recovery stages truly are.
In reviewing the available material from various Mental Health Associations and my own 25 years of experience helping individuals, couples and families deal with Grief and Loss, I can offer the following stages of Grief Recovery. These coincide well with our current understanding of the bereavement process and what grieving individuals actually go through. In this article I aim to clear up a long standing area of confusion.
1) Numbness and Shock: - We hear the news about the death of a loved one and our mind goes into shock. The news is too unbelievable, too hard to digest in one sitting. Numbness enters the picture because our mind is still reeling from the news as our body goes into a state of emotional numbness. We try desperately to process this terrible news. Simple tasks now feel overwhelming. Feelings of disorientation and displacement are common. Some have described this as a dreamlike state where you feel disconnected from events and people around you. Funeral arrangements and other issues are accomplished mechanically.
Stage 2) Disintegration and Disorganization - Eventually shock wears off, and our grief feelings come to the fore. You may feel like youre falling apart or adrift in a sea of feelings that are quite new to you. A good grief resource, grief counsellor or support group can help you navigate this part of the experience more readily. You may have some physical symptoms such as sleeplessness that you can take up with your family doctor. Feelings of anger, depression, anxiety and confusion are also common. Breaking into tears for no apparent reason is also normal, given the circumstances.
Stage 3) Bereavement and Grief Recovery - Once you are past the shock and have started to come out of disorganization, bereavement and grief recovery can begin in earnest. You can now make full use of your grief recovery resources including books, audio books, healing music and grief counseling. These days, you can be part of an online support group where sharing is the by-word and all persons there are eager and ready to listen and help each other recover. You are not alone, unless you choose to be. And you are not a victim, unless you choose that as well!
4) Reintegration / Coming back Together: You've been working through your bereavement and grief recovery using all available resources. Help in the form of counseling, support groups, books and related materials have helped guide you throught the process. Dealing with emotions and feelings has begun to pay off. You're feeling like your old self more and more with each passing day. Emotional breakdowns are far and few between. When they do come they are short-lived because you deal with them efficiently. You realize your life has been changed and you've had to change to meet the new challenge. Nothing is the same after a loved one dies but we can move on. As the hurt fades away you realize that your love for them remains strong in your heart.
As you can see these 4 stages of grief recovery are not the same as the Kubler-Ross designations. There are some similarities but the differences are quite stark. What you go through in grief recovery and bereavement is not the same as what an individual with a terminal diagnosis has to face. Bereavement results from the loss of a loved one, through murder, suicide, accident or illness and may involve the loss of a parent, child, spouse, friend or life partner. I have dealt with all of these losses so I know on a personal level that these stages make sense.
For a successful grief recovery I recommend the following: 1) Acquire a good reading and/or audio book resource that you can access whenever you want and need to, something that will provide support and guidance as you work your way through the necessary grief recovery action steps. 2) Check out any support groups in your area. This will help eliminate the feeling that you are alone and will normalize your recovery experience.
3) If a local group is not an option, consider joining an online Grief Support Network where you can post your story, receive support from others in grief recovery and provide support in return. This provides a sense of community during the grief recovery period and re-emphasizes that you are not alone. 4) And finally, see a therapist if your grief reactions are so overwhelming you feel you can't function. Follow these steps to grief recovery and your bereavement will be over before you know it.
Article Source: Articlelogy.com
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