What is the F.A. to Get People to do what You Want?
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In my last article, I brought up "the Pickup Artist loophole" and briefly acquainted you to the FA, Friendly Assertiveness. Now I will elaborate on it so you will have a Jedi mind-control to get almost anybody to do whatever you ask in a friendly way, by acting friendly assertive I like to call it, instead of dominantly aggressive.
Example:
If somebody were to tell you...
A.) in a dominantly aggressive manner "Give me that water!"
or
B.) "Could you give me that water please?" in a friendly yet assertive manner
(Or heck even "Could you please go across the room to get me a water?")
...which one are you more likely to comply to if you had to decide?
Probably Choice B because you didn't feel forced as in Choice A; besides it's hard to be rude to somebody who is friendly or else you would be perceived as an @$$hole and everybody around you would reciprocate by being rude as well and avoid you, while in choice A you would have reacted with defiance and that would have been acceptable due to them being dominantly aggressive and pushy to you.
There is never anything wrong with being friendly. In this case in them being friendly, they eventually get what they want, which is the water.
Here's one example from my life:
I was once working behind the bar, and there were 2 bartenders I had to work with.
The first bartender had an a communication style that was forthright aggressive,
"Bring me the bottle over there!"
I was indifferent even if he had been a hotshot bartender in Europe for over a decade and he was the best, this was always in the back of my mind, "Who the hell do you think you are?"
The other bartender was friendly assertive, being dominant indirectly in simple terms,
"Hey how about you bring me the bottle?"
The second bartender made request while still made me feel like I was in charge, so I was more likely to comply with the request. The second bartender could even request me to take out the garbage all the way down to the basement dumpster and then squeeze a case of lemon juice, and I still complied to him more than the first bartender, even though it required more effort on my part.
Strange, isn't it?
You can call these aggressive behaviors, however, natural human behaviors do hate to be forced to do something, especially feel taken advantage of.
To summarize, get the desired outcome by making them think and feel they are in control...sort of like a king-and-peasant relationship, which the irony is, you're the peasant asking the other person, this mighty respected king, for a help. If they can't deliver it, they will disappoint as your mighty respected king, and somebody with that title, have an expectation to live up to.
If you look at great natural leaders have this attribute of calm friendly assertiveness that effortlessly lead people without having to try yet at the same time make them feel special and needed, not thearrogant aggressiveness need to feel dominant like a dictator...as I said before nobody like to be told what to do and taken advantage of.
And combine that with being friendly assertive and giving value to what they lack.
When you convey friendly assertiveness in conjunction with giving value to others to them, making them feel their worth, people will magnetically show up into your life and want to follow you to end of the world, and you really don't have to do anything.
Article Source: Articlelogy.com
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