Getting Touchy Feely
Go to: Previous Article Next Article
Here's part three in the four part series of articles about the representational systems of communication. Previously I wrote an overview of the different systems and how we can use these to gain rapport for easier persuasion and then went into more detail about visual language. Well, with a title containing the words 'touchy feely' this can only be about kinesthetic language, words that describe things in a way so as to be touching and feeling.
Gaining rapport with our clients and prospects requires that we continue to build upon our ability to understand how people construct and interact with reality. The kinesthetically oriented person will interact with the world through touch and feel.
How do you know this about a person? Like right up front, how will you be able to tell a kinesthetic person right off the bat? Well, they tend to grasp for the way in which they describe things and reach for the words to make things concrete for you. They are natural at mirroring behavior oftentimes walking in step with you or bending when you bend, or blinking when you blink. They stick with things, wanting to touch them, grasping hold of them to get a sense of their texture. They may be born touchers--massage therapists or sculptors. They will even touch their own arms or legs and may rub it as they speak. This is the way in which they are getting in touch with how they feel about what is happening around them.
A perfect example, and the epitome of kinesthesia, is Bill Clinton's famous, "I feel your pain" quote, made more notorious by his predilections.
In contrast to a visual person who speaks quickly, staccato even, and an auditory person who may speak sing songy (or in a flat monotone), the kinesthetic person will speak much slower as they struggle to put into words what they are thinking.
Kinesthetic people use touch and feel words covering the tactile sense of feeling-hot, cold, firm, a firm touch, vibration-as well as the emotional sense of feeling-love, rage, joy, anger.
Another way to determine if someone is kinesthetic is to notice how close they are to you. If they can reach out and touch you, odds are, they're kinesthetic. They love to be hugged, don't ever shirk away from physical touch, and have no problem with you being in their space because they're not creating pictures like visually oriented people are.
One of the biggest ways I can determine this orientation is for the way. . . they might. . . . . struggle. . . for their words.
Another clue is the eye contact. Visual people look up, auditory people will glance side-to-side or level, and kinesthetic people, as a general rule, will look down.
As a side note, I read an article not long ago about a junior high school student in Virginia who had been cited for school infractions for hugging his friend. Outlawing physical contact, his school board has implemented a 'no physical contact' policy. No touching of any sort--no handshakes, no pats on the head, no hand holding, no high fives.
I found this incredibly strange at first, but as I thought about it further, I realized the incredible disservice and impediment being perpetrated against the kinesthetic students at these schools. Harmful or inappropriate touch should definitely be off limits and against the policy (as it is at every other school), but no physical contact at all seems a very dangerous precedent to set.
Coming soon: Auditory Adventures.
Article Source: Articlelogy.com
- Credit Cards A big selection of Cards in all flavors: Bad Credit Cards, Secured Cards, Prepaid Cards, Credit Cards for Canada, Low Interest Cards, etc -
Word Count: 602
Reduce Your Debts Without Bankruptcy. See How Much You Can Save. Free Debt Analysis
